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Saturday, January 01, 2005


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I also had zero resolutions as the minute hand slid by and it was hard for me say if that was a good thing or bad. No expectations, no disappointments right? But then I thought about how important objectives and accomplishments are to me and how life has been a plateau lately.

11:57, 11:58 ... "I'll take the GRE, the LSAT, apply to grad schools, get better at programming ..."

11:59 ... a friend of mine says she won't let boys affect her so much. "I'll be in grad school by 2006 for sure ..."

"Who the fuck am I kidding, I don't even want to go to grad school ... academic institutions kill creativity ... I want to stay independent of institutions ..."

12:01 ... there's the cheering, the ball drops, the awkward hugs, the sending of text messages. I keep drinking, but don't get drunk.

How to define success.

Anyway, I'm like you. I need chapters in my life, marking points to look back on. It used to always be when I finished one journal and started another, but since I've started blogging I barely write in my journal at all.

They say maybe it'll be 300,000 people pronounced dead because they were a little too close to the shoreline one day.

Letting go. Maybe that'll be my one resolution. A sublimely detached sense of passion for everything and nothing.

If 2004 brought me anything, it's a sense of community with a bunch of people I have never met on this big playground called the net.

Ta heck with Southern Cali, come to the correct coast...the east coast! We'd love ya here.

Happy New Year. I think, from reading you, Rox Populi and Mouse Words, that I don't need to make my blog anything other than a private indulgence. You sisters always say what I want to say, but with such grace and panache. Kind of sad.

And I'd recently decided to flee the midwest and head back to the Central Coast. Because I know it's past time for me to leave this place. I hope that your 2005 will so outshine 2004 that it will be a whisp of memory: "oh, yeah, 04 wasn't all that great, but it led into a great 05."


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