My friend Tirien, a kick-ass mom in her own right, tells me about her Godsister, Rachel Neumann, who is preparing to take her 1-year-old daughter with her to protest at the Republican National Convention in New York. In her recent article, Loving in the War Zone, at AlterNet, Rachel writes:
Recent articles have gushed on about how fashionable, how hip, how now motherhood was. And if you judge only from the omnipresent pregnant bellies in People, you can see their point. But it is only the accessories of motherhood that are fashionable – the clothes, the stroller, the organic canvas carrying devices, the large but reassuringly temporary belly. The truths of motherhood, as Susan J. Douglas and others point out, are particularly unfashionable. National healthcare? Yesterday's news. Subsidized childcare? Almost nonexistent. And free speech – something I've found that babies and their mothers are often particularly fond of – well, indulge in it at your own risk, gas mask recommended.
I often struggle with the thought of having children ~ do I want to bring a child into this world? do I want to really endure the physical pain of childbirth ~~ look, I'm a vain sissy when it comes to pregnancy, I don't know if I can do it. Do I want to "sacrifice" my career and individual freedom for the sake of raising an amazing kid? Don't get me wrong, I know I would be an amazing mom ~ I mean, my mom raised me right. But do I want to? I have thought about this for many years and "compensated" for the kids-issue by volunteering in youth programs and mentoring teens and adoring my nieces and nephews and babysitting my friend's S&M's brilliant kids ~ for now, that is enough for me and I am glad I can do these things full of joy, rather than envy at not having my own children. Thank God my biological clock seems to be on snooze right now ~ in fact, the batteries may have even fallen out, who knows ~ but I don't seem to hear any "ticking". What also helps me evaluate these issues is the work of amazing moms such as Tirien and Rachel; and my brilliant friend of 20 years, whose initials are ~ appropriately enough ~ glo, in Chicago who applied to law school when she was a single mom of a 4-year old and now works as an Assistant Appellate Defender in Chicago; and my amazing friend Michele (of S&M fame) who treats her 3-year-old like a smart adult; and my own mom ~ tenacious and humble ~ who labored long days in the Southern California heat, bent over in a strawberry field, for seven months while she was pregnant with me. Damn. These women give me faith ~ faith that the world may not be as devoid of humanity as it seems sometimes, confirmation that women are by far the stronger gender, inspiration that maybe one day I can live up to the standards these women create for all humankind. Thank your kick-ass mom today for putting up with your teenage bullshit, and for encouraging you in whatever way she could, and for loving you unconditionally, even when it didn't feel like she did.
Today, Roxanne, over at Rox Populi, encourages us to Celebrate Women's Political Voices ~ check out Roxanne's blog, especially since she includes lil 'ole me in her list of kick-ass women bloggers.
wow, i am humbled to be included in this list of moms-- your friends ARE really amazing. for me, i do what i think needs to be done. that's what parenting is about for me: taking care of business, and being an example of how SHE can take care of her own business, when she's ready.
Posted by: glo | Friday, August 27, 2004 at 05:54 AM