The trick is to just hold on ~

For the past several weeks, I have been sorting through countless boxes of the documentation of the past 10 years or so of my life.  I have been ruthless in sorting items into boxes marked for 'shredding', 'recycling', or 'Goodwill'.  Four boxes to the shredder, 10 boxes to Goodwill, and countless trips to the recycling bin.  There remains a small box of items I am cautiously keeping, for now.  One of those items is an envelope of photos of a weekend whitewater rafting trip I took years ago with 10-12 friends.  Through the magic of modern technology, and the nice guys at Ritz Camera, I was able to convert the film to digital, and now I may toss out the photos anyway.  But here I have the digital proof of the string of moments that made it all so memorable.

The memory of the trip is as vivid today as the roar of the rapids that weekend was deafening.  You can't really tell in the photo above, but we had an "all-chick" raft to take on Maytag, a Class V cascade on the north fork of the Yuba River.   As  you approach the bend in the river where Maytag lurks, you have to pull over and park your raft, then hike over some boulders to scout the rapid.  Maytag cascades violently down into an electric shock of white foam that you have to quickly navigate to either pull out into the eddy or get sucked into the next cascade, Son of Maytag, a Class IV rapid.

As we all parked our rafts and hiked over, we heard the roar of the rapids before we caught a glimpse of its brutal force.  Even before we reached the top of the boulder, some people were saying, "No way!"  Then, as we all stood shakily atop the slick slab of massive rock, the rest, in unison, said, "NO fucking way."  Maytag leered at us, spitting its foam up, daring us to get closer.

There was good reason for the resounding refusal of most of the group to even consider Maytag.  Earlier that morning, our raft had capsized in the raging river, swollen from the recent snow melt.  A massive wave pushed the front of the raft straight up into the sky and literally tossed everyone out...except for me.  Somehow, I had held onto the rope at the front ~ I was completely vertical as everyone else, including our guide, fell out; and then I came crashing down, face first into the raft.  When I peeked back up, I saw heads bobbing up from under the freezing water, their eyes full of confusion and fear ~ it all happened in a few seconds.  Someone's shoe floated by; I heard people in the other rafts shouting directions, but the words were drowned out by the wailing of the waves around me.  I grabbed a paddle as it floated by and scurried over towards the shore; then a friend's head bobbed up right beside me.  Somehow, I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into the damn raft ~ I have no idea how.  We made it to shore and we saw the others had reached the sides of the rushing river ~ lying back on rocks, panting and shaking. 

Because river rafting is such a clear metaphor for life ~ when you're deep in the middle of it, there's nothing to do except to get back in the damn raft and start again; the rapids only flow in one direction. 

Fear or no fear, there was no going back, and no one to pick us up midway through.  So, when we reached the boulders overlooking Maytag, many in the group had already been slapped around enough by the river.  Six of us, though, all women, stayed silent.  I don't think any of us looked at each other for reassurance, but almost all at once we said, "Let's do it."

My heart was pounding as we checked our gear and climbed back into the raft.  Our guide, a woman, told us to lean forward as much as we could, until we could almost fall out of the raft ~ to face the rapids head on, paddle furiously, and then hang on for dear life and DUCK into the raft at her signal.  She was amazing ~ shouting direction to us as the first rapid belted us back a few feet.  Then, as I felt the free-fall start, my heart soaring up into my throat, she screamed at us to duck ~ in perfect synchronicity we all turned in towards the center of the raft, and hung onto the rope as the raft did a nosedive into the foaming mouth of Maytag.

We slammed down, hard, into the center of the rapid, and immediately sat back out on the edges of the raft ~ to paddle furiously over to the eddy before getting sucked into Son of Maytag.  The roar of the rapids and my heart was deafening ~ but when we stopped moving, all I could hear was the cheering and clapping of our friends ~ standing tall at the top of the boulder above us.  And through the glossy glare of the sun and the water I could see also the satisfaction beaming brightly from the six of us who had climbed back into the raft.

And so I remember now ~ the trick is to hold on tightly and ride out the tumultuous tide.  With any luck, your friends will be on the other side cheering for you.

 

Comments

[James]

Wow...reminds me of my first river-run.
Three words--Scary...as...hell.
Thanks for this little bit of nostalgia, your story really got my bloodrushing, and my heart pounding in fear (as any river run does).

The river has a spirit of it's own, and if you don't respect it, don't expect it to play nice ;)...matter of fact...just don't expect it to play nice at all =]

[mari]

Ah! How did I miss all these wonderful comments!? You all are so great!

Jennifer ~ I can only write as well as my small-scale adventures inspire me, so I'm glad this post resonates with so many people.

Ruby ~ As always, you are a gem. xo

cadiz 12 ~ I am SO glad the pro photographer was precariously balancing on slippery rocks and in the midst of bushes to capture these shots. I had to buy them but they are so worth it. When I'm old and cranky (crankier?), I'll look at these pics to remember how bold and fun I can be. ;-)

Katie ~ DO IT! You will love and fear white water rafting with all your heart and soul. Remember that in early spring, the snow melt makes rivers *really* high (and fun)!

gina ~ I'm so glad you stopped by! I really enjoy your blog; I added you to my blog roll. I'm glad you liked this post, and that you connect it to something so personal. Hope to "see" you again soon! :)

[gina coggio]

Wow. This last part of the post was so moving it brought tears to my eyes, considering my present situation with my mom's illness. What a wonderful message to receive today. Thank you for sharing it.

[Katie]

Wow, I got goosebumps!! Good for you!!

I've always wanted to go whitewater rafting, but it's one thing I've yet to do... now I want to go more than ever!

[cadiz12]

that's awesome. and it's great you have photos to always remember it with.

[Ruby]

Wow, Mari - WOW!! You really never cease to amaze me. That strength and courage that you have running through every vein in your body will never fail you ~ and neither will your friends.

[jennifer]

wow. what an amazing adventure. as is the adventure of life, as you so eloquently write!